locker mate

for life

about an hour ago i was sitting alone in a bedroom at the four seasons with one of the sexiest men alive but i wasn't in a very good space. just minutes before my interview with common, a man who will always and forever set my heart aflutter, i got word that my mother was in the hospital.

my brother gary rang with the news--what little he had. apparently she had gone to see the new doctor i had set her up with--one that was recommended by an old high school acquaintance--and was immediately sent to jewish hospital in cincinnati for tests. my best guess is that the tests were inconclusive and the attending physician admitted her for observation. she'll be examined by a neurologist in the morning.

that's about all my brother knew.

living 2,500 miles away, hearing the term "tests" and not knowing is, of course, driving me batty. on my way home from the four seasons i rang one of my gurls from college and dumped all of my stress on her weakening shoulders. she's dealing with a bed-ridden father, an active 5-year-old and a mother with a nagging sore throat.

she was there for me though, as always.

when i got home i rang my dad who had been home alone all day. he hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day with the exception of his daily cup of instant maxwell house. is that stuff still on the market? i digress. so, now i have to start worrying about him.

i rang my brother back. he was frustrated and confused and hungry and defeated. i understand. he's had the bear most of the burden that comes along with caring for aging parents, who more often than not, don't want to listen. he's ready for them to go to the home.

not on my watch. that's when i had to call my dear friend barb.

i've known barb since 7th grade. we really had no choice but to become close as our lockers were always next to each other. she was a toney, i'm a turner. i'm now thinking that was an act of god. had her name been richman, like it is now, we might have never hooked up.

i didn't much care for any of those "r" peeps.

i knew barb was something special even back in the day. she was eternally gracious, uniquely real and always looking out for the people she dug. that was a rarity at wyoming high, a predominantly white and affluent college prep school, where most people never got past the do re mi, mi, mi on the social scale. barb would help me play all those silly games girls play when they're trying to snag the boy of their dreams. she would let me copy her notes from the biology lecture i missed and would always take up for me when the boys of my nightmares tried to dis me.

some of the best times i've ever had with her was when we'd go thrift-store shopping or hit up about 25 local garage sales in a single morning. my gurl knows how to find a bargain! and then there were always those "pepsi" talks we had in her kitchen(s) while her three, extremely well-mannered kids, zipped in and out. and she was the first person to call me when i had that breast cancer scare years ago.

but it wasn't until i saw her deal with other people that i realized how truly wonderful she is. barb works with special needs kids at our alma mater. it's a beautiful thing to see her interact with them. she's so patient and kind. they adore her.

she must sleep really well at night.

and, when i went home last summer barb had moved her ailing father into her home for what would prove to be his final days. she was so gentle with him. so compassionate. i told her then that care-giving was definitely her calling.

i told her that again today.

when i started to tell her about mom, she immediately knew the right things to say. she offered, more than once, to go out to the hospital to see what she could do. then she told me just before we hung up not to worry.

"if you start to worry, call me back," she said.

because she said that i won't have to call her back. i'm much more at ease.

back in the day when i ran a high school journalism program at san francisco state, one of the first things i would always tell my kids is to make sure they get to know the people to the left and the right of them because, "one day you might be working for them."

i'd like to be working for barb someday. it might seem that i have the more glamorous life because of what i do for a living, but as i have told barb many times my work is so not important. it's not like me spending 20 minutes with common will have any kind of lasting impact on the global community. but what god has called her to do can and will.

i'm telling you this girl is a gem. i love her madly. i'm so very, very blessed that's she been in my life for the past 36 years. she's like the quintessential point guard. she makes everyone around her better.

thanks bt for all that you do, and all that you will do.