boolshyt!!

my sister-gurl charlene sent me this strip today and it literally brought tears to my eyz! click on the strip to make it bigger. laughter is so good for the soul!

lottie & lucille

i was walking around my neighborhood today trying to shake off the remains of a sunny, but blue monday when i was suddenly touched by an angel.

make that two.



i was 5 years old when judy garland and barbra streisand sang this melody on garland's old cbs variety show. i don't remember if i actually saw the show that night but i have always loved this collaboration.

garland and streisand, however, are not the angels i was referring to. that distinction belongs to two very special women who helped mold me professionally and personally.

lottie knight was my former hampton institute professor and mentor who passed away two years ago this fall. i never made a career move without consulting her. lucille deview was my former writing coach who would always take my good copy and make it great. she died just two weeks before mrs. knight.

losing them in such close succession was extremely jarring but oddly inspiring.

still is.

they never met and that's really a shame. mrs. knight was all pepper while lucille, who was about 10 years older, was the salt of this earth when she was still breathing. had their paths ever crossed they would have had some amazing conversations about life, craft, politics and perhaps, me.

maybe they're doing that right now.

maybe that's why i thought of them today when i heard these lyrics.

the sun is shining c'mon get happy
the lord is waiting to take your hand
shout hallelujah c'mon get happy
we're gonna be going to the promised land

thank you ladies. rest in peace. the meaning of your lives is still unfolding in me.

today

today i realized my dad's dementia had gotten worse.
today jennifer hudson learned that her mother and brother had been murdered and that her 7-year-old nephew was missing.
today i consoled my dear friend whose older brother was found dead on sunday at his home in new jersey.
today i apologized to the same friend for not getting her gift basket off in time because apparently you can't ship wine to maryland.
today i told my hampton classmates that i probably wouldn't be making it to homecoming despite my best efforts.
today i stayed in bed hoping to shake this cold or whatever it is.
today i spoke to a friend who was administering pain meds to her husband with inoperable cancer.
today i wrote two meaningless stories on the stars of "zack and miri make a porno."
today i woke up with a sinus headache at 4:50 a.m.
today i told a total stranger i would critique their clips because i'm a maynard baby and we must always pay it forward.
today i had vegetarian orange chicken and vegetarian tom yum soup delivered from bulan thai.
today i spilled chocolate syrup on my "sex and the city" nightshirt and never bothered to change it.
today a family member got on my last nerve.
today i listened intently while a dear friend shared the milder details of a recent sexual encounter.
today the man whose radio show i did yesterday called to thank me for coming on.
today i was challenged, but less stressed than i had been all week.
today i realized yet again that one should never put their faith in man because man will disappoint you each and every time.
and today i feel blessed that i can now lay myself down to sleep, thanking god for today and tomorrow--for the good times and bad.

bye-bye levi

i'm not going to lie. when it comes to '60s boy bands i am all about the temps. back in the day i was totally mesmerized by the late paul williams. his voice was so smooth, so haunting--particularly when he performed "for once in my life" on that "tcb" tv special featuring the temps and diana ross & the supremes. that boy felt every lyric of that song.

and he was fine.

but i also loved levi stubbs, who passed today at age 72. paul died young when i was just a kid. i grew old, however, with my other crush, the lead singer of the four tops. i loved levi's vocals on "reach out (i'll be there)." remember that as the closing theme in "cooley high?"

decisions, decisions

why is it that sometimes you get really freaked out when your prayers are answered? maybe that's why the old-er folks always say "careful what you pray for." 

change, albeit both refreshing and challenging, is something that you can never really willingly accept as its happening in any form--spiritual, physical, geographical.

i bet most babies would prefer to remain toothless; that some inmates have separation anxiety when they are finally released; that a lot of kids who can't wait to leave home miss it more than they thought they would and that 90-year-old parents would be much happier if their conflicted 50-year-old kids didn't have to make decisions for them.

i know i would.

i've been through a lot of changes in the last 12 days i've spent on the road. i've struggled to find common ground with those who share my DNA and those who don't. i've witnessed old parents get even older. i was mildly amused when a woman at a thai restaurant in upper manhattan insisted that i was whoopi goldberg even after i repeatedly told her i was not. i was absolutely stunned when my favorite cousin--who owns a porsche convertible--picked me up from the bus station in philly in a mini van with her two kids in tow. and i was often at odds with myself because i couldn't answer any of my own "whys?"

now as i lie here in bed in my flannel jammies waiting for the nyquil to kick in so that i can breathe again, i'm oddly looking forward to the bumps in the road that will undoubtedly trip me up in the coming days, weeks and months. sure, i can't afford to make a wrong turn at this point in time, but even if i do--again--it's oddly reassuring to know that there's some billionaire hedge fund dude in greenwich, conn. who is trying to make sense of it all, too.